Loving your body: Is it normal for girl to love and hate her body at the same time
Are you able to be hating and loving your body at the same time? So this is series that one of my instagram followers suggested I do. So basically my instagram followers asked me if certain things are normal for a girl and then I dive deeper and explain if it is normal or not. And today’s topic is hating and loving your body at the same time.
Living in our society can’t be an easy job,
because society tells us to hate our bodies, but we want to love it so it is big battle. You can easily be put into this bad circle of hating your body and it can be hard to get out of it, especially if you have been in this circle for long time. It is of course not your fault, but it can feel like it is your fault. So how does the circle looks like, why do we tend to love and hate our bodies? Well let’s dive in and get all our answers!
Let’s talk about the circle:
So this sucky circle is you fighting with beliefs that you have been taught by society. Society teaches us these beliefs in very sneaky and tricky ways. With advertisement, by making many believe in it and of course by constantly reminding you of them. Everything you consume is society’s way of giving some bad beliefs so it can benefit them. Think about it, if no one would be insecure, do you think beauty industry would survive? I don’t think so, but at this moment beauty industry is one of the most profitable industries.
So let me explain how the circle goes:
-You see advertisement, where it shows you skinny girl and it says “You want to have perfect body like she has”
With this they are saying your body is not perfect and you need to look like this, otherwise you are not worthy.
-After feeling you are not worthy, you feel insecure and not good about yourself
-You sit in your room feeling bad, when you get good news that you did great at work
-This automatically makes you feel worthy and feel good about yourself, so you return to loving your body and yourself
-Couple days pass by, your already forgot about your good news and then you see movies that makes you question your worth again, and there you go again you are back in sucky circle!
And this is how easy you can be put in their circle and then you are out,
but so easily put back into the circle. It is very hard to stay out of the circle, but so easy to stay in it. Most of people experience love and hate relationship with their body because of the circle. Society makes them well unworthy and then something happens that they can’t deny and it makes them feel worthy, but then society’s tricky circle comes back to catch them and it continues and continues. Of course some people experience just hate relationship with their bodies which is even harder and of course there are these who just have love relationship with their bodies which is the best one. But of course anyone can achieve loving relationship, it just takes time!
Wonder why they always promote skinny people instead of chubby people? Chubby and skinny are both fine and nothing to be ashamed of and technically both should be accepted! They could have made chubby bodies be the perfect body, but why didn’t they? Well there are only about 10-15% of world’s population who are skinny, so less people are skinny. So if we think about it, being chubby is more common which means being chubby is totally okay.
Because only small amount of
people are skinny, this is why society is promoting skinny people. This is how they manipulate us to believe we are not good enough, so then we would want to buy a fitness program or get plastic surgery and there we go they profit from it. So just think about it next time you feel you are not good enough.
Hate relationship with our bodies:
There are many reasons why we have hate relationship. But the main reason is of course society and them trying to push you by saying your are not good enough through everything you consume. It is very tricky and sneaky way, but that is why it is working. You wouldn’t think that they are trying something by using certain things in movies you watch, but they are. And that is the thing, when you keep hearing something way too many time, you will start to believe it.
When you keep seeing skinny models,
you will want to be one. When you see the Prince choosing the skinny one, you will feel you are not good enough. When you keep hearing, you need to workout because you don’t have perfect body, you will start to believe that your body is not perfect. And it really doesn’t matter where you look or what you consume, this narrative is everywhere, you can’t escape it. You basically the reason you hate your body, is not even because of you! Crazy, you would think it is all you, but it is not!
Some other reason why you have hate relationship with your body is:
-You could be young and haven’t
learn that body is not suppose to be perfect, but regardless it is beautiful. When you haven’t learn that, you can’t accept your body. If you have this false belief that body is suppose to be perfect, you can’t love your body. No body is perfect and unless you learn that you can’t love your body. But this reason is caused because of the main reason. If our society didn’t push this narrative that body is suppose to be perfect, none of us would have to unlearn this belief and would from day one love our bodies.
-You could have been bullied because of your body.
If you have been bullied because of your body, you will for sure have hate relationship with your body. You got bullied because of your body. But remember, your body is beautiful the way it is. Your body did do anything to make you get bullied, when someone bullies people it is reflection how they are feeling, they feel insecure. But this again, if our society did bully us to believe only certain type of bodies are good, no one would have power to bully other because of their body. If our society would be more accepting of all types of bodies, there would be no issue.
-You haven’t fully let yourself be your true self,
so therefore you can’t love your body. When you can’t be your true self, you will feel bad and that includes feeling bad about your body. The reason who are being themselves feel so positive, feel more attractive and more happy is because they can be themselves and are not hiding anything. But people wouldn’t be afraid to be themselves if society made us feel good about being ourselves.
There are many other reasons, but any reason comes back to society and how society manipulates us for their profit.
Love relationship with our bodies:
So how come we still mange to love our bodies when we live in society that pushes us to hate our bodies. Well even though they are good at manipulating us, we do still have brains and when we see our worth we can’t deny it. While we do consume things that are in favour of society, we also consume things that are in favour of us and our bodies. That is why society is pushing this narrative everywhere, because when we are shown undeniable things we can’t deny them.
Loving your body doesn’t just come
from, you loving how your body looks like. It comes from you in general feel good about yourself. You can be feeling good for some other reason, but you will still be loving your body then. Because body is you, body is the reason you are standing. So that means if you want to love your body, you have to start within yourself. You have to start loving yourself.
So here are some possible reason why you could love your body:
-You did great at work: when someone tells you , you did good, your self worth will go up and therefore you will love your body
-Someone gave you a compliment: compliment doesn’t cost you anything, but it means so much to the person you are giving to. By giving someone a compliment you can really make them love their body. There confidence will go so much up
-Wearing new clothes: when you wear new clothes you will feel good about it and therefore you will love your body too.
-Accepted your body the way it is and are being fully yourself:
when you accept your body the way it is, when you don’t mind if it is sometimes little chubby you will love your body no matter what. When you are being your true self, there is no time where you won’t feel good so you won’t be questioning your worth anymore. This is a must if you want to have love relationship with your body for long term, but this will take a lot of hard work!
So love relationship with your body can come from either something you can’t deny or it can come from simply you being able to overcome these beliefs that society teaches us. But when we talk about in this context love hate relationship with your body, it most likely are the other three reasons.
So to answer the question, it is very normal.
This is the most common. Most people do get sucked into the circle and it is always the battle of out and in. The society is pushing you, but of course you do have brain and do see time to time your worth. But what all of us should be aiming for is to get out of the circle and never go back.
You need to unlearn a lot of things
and really learn to accept, believe in yourself and love yourself. When you learn to unconditionally love yourself, you will quickly see all the bullshit society tells us and won’t be believing that anymore. But it only possible when you start to truly love yourself. I will be teaching you how you can do this in upcoming article so stay tune for that!
SO now let’s test you, how much do you love or hate your body take this quiz to find out!
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