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5 Ways Influencers are damaging your body image

We are all aware that social media

is not the healthiest place and I feel it get worse and worse every year. I mean don’t get me wrong there also some amazing things about social media it can educate you and it can help with so many issues we as society are facing like for example racism I feel there would be way more racist people if there was no social media.

But social media also have quite a

dark side, a side that can get really toxic. And one of the main reasons we have toxic side of social media is because of influencers. These influencers that make you question your worth and make you feel your body is not good enough because they show you their perfectly photoshopped photos and make you feel it is real.

I could say so much about those

influencers and how wrong it is what they are doing, but let’s just stick to one topic at the time. You might think it might help you watching these influencers, but you are so wrong it is damaging you and your body image. I feel it can damage anyone’s body image, even if you are 100% happy with your body.

Of course when you see

perfect body on someone you wish to have it, but also feel shitty for not having it! But trust me if it looks perfect, I am sure 99.9% is fake. And also isn’t it more beautiful to have imperfections ? Well anyways let’s talk about it how they are damaging you

Only showing the highlights:

Influencers are known to show only highlights. They only post the perfect photo with perfect angle and the perfect setup, but that is not a real life. Our bodies won’t always look good in fact most times it doesn’t, when we sit it does look we have more than we have, when we are standing in the wrong angle it won’t look good either. And we also shouldn’t worry how we position ourselves because these influencers do it, we should be able to talk to our friends on the street without worrying how our body looks like. But when they just show the highlights it makes us feel insecure and makes us question our worth. We start to think if our body is really good enough.

And no one should feel this way,

everyone should feel that they are good enough because they are. Instead of focusing the best way you can look, focus on being the most real and how to make your followers feel good. But I can tell you one thing the reason influencers have need to only show highlights means they question their worth and therefor have to be perfect otherwise they feel insecure, so it is nothing against you and there is nothing wrong with you, it is them that have problem!

Comparison:

As I said before when we see these perfect bodies of course we want it too. So we end up comparing ourselves to these perfect bodies and it is not far fight since our bodies are not photoshopped or might not look the best at that moment. We end up wishing we had these bodies and that can put you in very dark place. We see our flaws but instead of embracing them we hate them because of what we see on social media. An influencer should make you feel good about your flaws not bad about it. It is stupid to compare yourself with everyone it makes no sense because we are all different, this influencer will never be you and you will never be that influencer. Own your power love who you are, don’t wish to be someone else!

Unrealistic expectations:

When you start comparing yourself and seeing your body next to these perfect bodies, of course you will try to achieve the perfect body. But see doesn’t matter how hard you work on it, you will never have the body that you see on social media. Because these perfect bodies that you see on social media ARE NOT REAL, they are photoshopped and honestly they don’t even think about how realistic this is they just do whatever looks good.

Our bodies can’t achieve what

photoshop can, it is impossible our bodies are built differently and it is not possible to achieve it. But that doesn’t mean that your body is not beautiful, because it is. This can leave us very frustrated and we can end up hating our bodies! This can also in general give you false image of ideal body. Because of these influencers you will end up thinking that this is the ideal body type, when in reality all bodies are ideal body types. There is no better or worse body type, it is your body so embrace it!

Eating disorder:

Showing the perfect can make someone feel they have to lose weight to have these perfect bodies. It can make people feel shitty about their own bodies. These people might stop eating because they think if they don’t even they could achieve the perfect body which is so false. Food is not your enemy, food is making sure your body keeps going.

Because of these influencers

so many can develop eating disorder even though they were perfectly health. It really pushes people because they think this is real and want it so badly. When you show your perfect body make sure to show the process how it got so perfect, this way you can prevent so many eating disorders!

Insecurities:

When you see all these perfect bodies of course you feel start to not feel so good in your own skin. When you see all these perfect bodies and of course you don’t have it, you will start to have insecurities. You will feel that you are not good enough and that can’t be good for anyone. Being insecure about yourself can have effects in many aspects of your life. For example you tend to get jealous at other people, and that can make you feel worse. People who are jealous can become the worse version of themselves and can drive people away. There are many disadvantages of having insecurities, but most importantly you don’t feel good and you can’t grow to the best version of yourself if you have insecurities. But it is not you, it is them!

As you can see influencers really

can damage you. They make you have different image of ideal body, the very wrong and false image of ideal body. Influencers make you feel shitty about yourself and make you question your worth. And of course I can’t forget they make you have unrealistic expectations and we are still looking up to them?! They are the wrong people. I true influencer would put his or hers followers first and make them feel good and show them the real them not some fake version. Maybe you do it because you are insecure, but you are damaging your followers so much and I feel it is so selfish.

Little tip:

If watch influencer and you feel shitty after that, unfollow them that means they are the wrong person to follow. We have to show them if they don’t take this seriously they will lose us, we don’t want fake stuff anymore. And another good advice just know if it is too good it is probably fake and see that you have more courage to show the real you and they don’t so this make you more beautiful!

Hopefully this can open eyes to many of you, and you start to rethink how you need to treat your followers and also to the followers you can open your eyes and see how fake they are!

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How to have confidence to wear whatever you want to?

How to have confidence to wear whatever you want to?

I constantly get asked by my followers how to have confidence to wear what you want, so I decide to write about because it is a big topic and can’t be answered in one short sentence.

So first to all of you asking yourself

how to wear whatever you want to, you are not alone and it for sure is not your fault for thinking this way. It is not your fault that you feel that your body is not good enough to wear certain things or it is not appropriate to wear certain clothing. But wait how is it not your for thinking this way, you of course think it is your fault because you are the one thinking this way. See it all because of our society and the way they make us think and feel. When you constantly keep hearing how you shouldn’t wear this and this, or if you have certain type of body you shouldn’t wear this and of course at some point you will start believing it.

But see so many things

we are told are not true, they tells us because they know they can gain something from us. They make you feel insecure so you can get that fitness program so you can wear certain clothing, or get a surgery, or the worst one is they can’t handle women being a bad ass boss and wear whatever she wants to, because then you are in the power and not them. Because of that so many have misconception about clothes and their purpose. You shouldn’t change your body so you fit the clothes, clothes should be able to fit your body. So next time you want to wear something that in society’s eyes doesn’t look good with your body type remember this.

So how do you gain confidence

to wear whatever you want to? Here are view simple steps that I suggest you doing to gain your confidence back. Yes I am saying gaining confidence back, because deep down we all have that confidence it is only hidden because of all the bullshit we keep hearing.

Unlearn stupid beliefs:

The belief that certain clothes won’t fit every body type and that you shouldn’t wear certain clothes in certain way is a bullshit. All bodies are beautiful and all bodies deserve to wear what they want to wear. Who the said that chubby beautiful people can’t wear bikini? I always love looking at chubby people wearing bikini it looks so beautiful. But because our society is messed up companies like to make bikini for example look only good for skinny people, where is diversity here?

And of course then they

will say only skinny people should wear bikini, how about you improve the way you make clothes, because if it can’t fit all, this is not good. So just remember clothes should serve your body not other way around. So if you like something, even it no one else likes it who care, wear it. Even if it doesn’t look good, who cares, if you like it and makes you feel good wear it and be proud of it.

Learn to love yourself:

I feel the main reason you can’t wear whatever you want to wear is because you lack self love. If you have fully accepted yourself and love yourself the way you are, you wouldn’t worry about what others would think and would wear whatever you want to and wouldn’t care. But I also get it, in society like ours it is hard to accept yourself, because they entourage us to be someone else. But you need to do so otherwise you will always feel insecure.

You can start small by just

saying loving affirmations to yourself every morning, or looking at yourself in the mirror and trying to see beauty in your flaws. There are endless ways you can learn to love yourself. I wrote an article all about it you can check it out here

Get out of your comfort zone:

Doesn’t matter in what area you are trying to gain confidence from, you will never achieve it if you keep staying in your comfort zone. Lacking confidence actually just means you have fear of that thing and of course you will have fear if you never tried it, but if you try it trust me most of the time it won’t be scary anymore. So in this case your fear is wearing clothes that our society doesn’t think it suits your body type or in general they don’t think you should be wearing. So wear it, yes wear the clothes you are afraid of wearing and see how it feels.

Yes I know it might be scary,

but trust me after you will feel much better. Start small maybe wear them around people you trust and then step up and wear it when you are out with friends. Trust me after doing it many times you won’t have that much fear and when you keep doing it, the fear will be gone.

Know that people who judge you for the way you dress have their own insecurities:

You might not have confidence to wear whatever you want to, because maybe someone took away this. Maybe this happened to you when you are young and you can’t get over that. I can imagine someone judging you or making fun of you can be hard for anyone. Just know people who laugh at you probably have their own insecurities. Some who loves themselves fully doesn’t need to judge anyone and the way they dress. Judging others will make them feel good and of course the easiest way to judge someone is by what they are wearing.

But know if they wear happy

with themselves they wouldn’t be doing so, so that means there is nothing wrong with you or your outfit. Also remember that they probably forgot what they told you a second after they said it, so why then bother even thinking about it when they don’t even think about it. If you don’t wear what you want to wear, you allow them to control you, don’t let them control you.

Make impossible for you mind to say no:

You are afraid to wear what you want, but let’s say you put together amazing outfit so you can’t refuse to wear it. Make it the hottest and the most amazing outfit ever. This way having an amazing outfit will give you confidence, but also won’t put all the attention to that piece, the attention will be more focused on the outfit. This way you will feel confident without feeling confident. Of course you should work on really feeling confident, but this is great short-term solution.

Surround yourself with positive people:

When you hang out with people who bring you down and tell you, you don’t look good of course you won’t feel good about wearing certain clothing. But if you hang out with people, who entourage you to wear whatever you want to, when they boost your confident by saying nice things about you, you will gain confidence in no time. When you are around confident people, who will support you no matter what, you will have confidence in no time.

It will take a while for you to get

your confidence back, but you will get it back just keep working on it. These tacks are in my opinion the most effective and will help you with your confidence in no time. And these tacks won’t just help you with feeling confidence around what you wear, but also in general it will increase your confidence so much.

Just remember you are amazing and beautiful human, your body is more than deserving of beautiful clothes. Your body does deserve you wear the cutest outfits, so don’t punish it because of society.

Hopefully this will help you, let me know how it goes!!!

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How to live your best life in 5 simple steps

How to live your best life

I feel all of us guilty of this,

we tend to focus on unimportant things and don’t really enjoy the life. We have to remind ourselves that we have to enjoy life and the now we have won’t last forever. As humans it is natural that we stress ourselves, because of the stupidest things, but it is not doing us any good. Instead of focusing on something that probably won’t matter in a day or even in two hours, better enjoy your life. For example enjoy the moments with your friends and be 100% present. If you focus all your energy on the bad things, the bad things will keep coming and coming. If you focus on good things well more good things will come your way it is simple. So many of us tend to focus our entire lives on the wrong things, and then we end up regretting this, let’s stop this. Let’s focus on what makes us happy and what we enjoy. So here are view tips how to start enjoying your life:

How to live your best life step 1:

-Stop dwelling on the past:

I always see the past as a blessing and not something to dwell on or to feel sorry about. You need to think about everything you experienced in the past as a lesson and as part of becoming who you are today. If you only focus on the negative parts, you won’t be able to move forward. If you are only seeing your past as negative, how do you justify all the good things that came with it? I am sure if you dive deep and think more you will realise all the good things that came with it and I can assure you there are probably more good things that came with it than bad. So let’s stop playing the victims. Use the past as something to take from, something you can learn and reflect on. Talk about it and heal from it, but then move on from it in a positive way. This way you will be able to move forward and be able to enjoy your life.

How to live your best life step 2:

-Stop with Comparison:

No matter who you are as a person, at some point in your life your probably compared yourself to others. For example I used to obsessively compare myself to my twin sister, and think back it is ridiculous because we are two completely different people. It is our nature to do this, but you got to stop it. I get it, in a way we are taught to do so by our society, but you got to stop it. You are just hurting yourself. Instead of comparing yourself how about you admire something about yourself and others. How about you admire unique qualities you have and also admire unique qualities other people have. Enjoy the diversity, and know we are all amazing and there is no need for competition. Comparing yourself to others will just stop you from living your life. Judging yourself from not being the same way someone else is, will put you in a bad head space. It is impossible to be someone else, you are you for a reasons so embrace it.

How to live your best life step 3:

-Stop focusing on the wrong things:

As I mention we tend to focus on the wrong things. We stress out about something that won’t even matter for long time. When you are stressed out about something take a deep breath and ask yourself this question: will this bother me tomorrow or next week? most of times the answer will be no, so then at that moment just say to yourself well then stop stressing out. I feel most of us don’t want to stress out, but then we end up anyways doing it, but if you tell yourself to stop it, it might work. And I feel this method with knowing it won’t anyways matter tomorrow also might be helpful. We really tend to focus on the wrong things for no reason, so we really need to stop it.

How to live your best life step 4:

-Accept yourself:

Trying to be someone else and not accepting yourself is not good for anyone. You have to remember you are you and you can’t change that. Your weird and unique ways is what makes you, you and you don’t have to change that. The most beautiful thing you can do to yourself is to be yourself and 100% accept who you are. Knowing no one is perfect, but that is what makes you and everyone else beautiful will help you accept yourself. You have to stop thinking that being you is not cool, you are the way you are fro a reason so stop trying to change that. Loving who you are is going to make your life so much more beautiful.

How to live your best life step 5:

-Live in the moment:

Remember now is all we have and we will never get it back, so live in the moment and enjoy every second of it. Be present when someone is talking to you, be present with things you are doing and experiencing. Be aware of every little detail that you are experiencing, because this is what I call truly living your best life.

In the world so many things are going on, so our focus can shift quickly, but we really need to remember to be present. We need to start focusing on beautiful and happy things in our lives. I am not saying forget about your struggles and worries, but I would say work through them and move forward so you can focus on more positive things in your life. Just make the best out of your life and enjoy the beautiful moments and focus on that. Do more things that make you happy, because this is how you truly can live your life!

Reminder: Focus on positive!

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10 Reasons I’m Feminist

Reasons I’m Feminist

Although some people strongly disagree with feminists I see true power in feminism. Being feminist isn’t just for women, it is for all of us. It is shaping us to be better versions of ourselves, and to think for ourselves and not what we are taught to believe. Feminism is also helping us fix the messed up system we live in, that will eventually be beneficial for all of us. Everyone earning enough money, plus working less which means more freedom, isn’t this beneficial for all of us? If you would be more open minded, you would see the beauty of feminism. Anyways here are some reasons I’m feminist and think everyone else should be too:

 

-The belief that women shouldn’t be smarter than men and if you are no man will want  you is the reasons I’m feminist:

We are all smart in our own unique ways, and women are smart too. The belief that a woman who is a smart is no good for any man is ridiculous. Feminism is showing that this is not true, and you can find a man when you are smart. Having a smart woman around him is priceless and every man’s biggest dream trust me!

 

-Because even though I am not too worried about, many women are scared to walk alone at certain time:

Yes this world is crazy, that a human being has to worry about walking alone at the night. It is not okay, what if she wants to walk by herself sometimes? She can’t do this, because our society allowed men to become aggressive towards women, so now women are too scared. Feminism is fighting this issue by helping women be more confident and bringing awareness to men and that being aggressive is not cute.

-Because a woman in a room full of men is terrified is the reasons I’m feminist:

If a man is in a room full of woman, he is loving his life feeling his is the start, but when is other way around it is different story. Men make us feel uncomfortable, they make us feel less and they don’t take us seriously. We shouldn’t be afraid to walk in the room full of men, we should own this shit. But even confident woman would feel scared, because they make you feel this way. Feminism is teaching women to not be afraid and own their power.

-Because women’s value shouldn’t be based on her sexual history:

Yes it is disgusting how they value us based on our sexual history. My sexual history is only my business and regardless what I have done sexually it doesn’t define me who I am as a person. We are all different and what we do sexually is different others and that is fine, we are allowed to do whatever feels right. Feminism taught me that what I did sexually doesn’t define me, and that I am still worthy regardless of what I did.

-Because of sexist comments:

To be disrespectful to a woman just because she is a woman is not okay. To discriminate her with your rude comments is not acceptable. Sexism has been in our society for long time and needs to go aways. Feminism is fighting this huge issue we have be dealing with.

-People like to shame women for focusing on their careers:

Woman can focus on her career is up to her. She doesn’t have to do anything society wants her to do. It is all up to her, and no one has right to shame her for it. It this is what she wants, she is doing the right thing.

-Because being called a “girl” is considered a bad thing:

Our society likes to make girls seems like they are weak, not able to succeed or do anything in life, which is so false. All humans are amazing and regardless if you are man or a woman, you should be proud of it. No one should shame you for being that.

-Because it is more humiliating to be raped than to be a rapist:

When woman gets raped it is all her fault, they consider her dirty and not pure anymore. But they never shame rapist and it is never really his fault. If he raped her, her being dirty is all in his hands. She couldn’t control it, he forced her to do it so making her feel shitty is not okay.  Feminism is fighting this mindset so people consider rapist as dirty and not the victim.

-Because no one should be afraid of losing their job, because they call out their bosses for harassment:

No one should be harasst by their boss. That is not okay, and this totally isn’t nice working environment. Bosses should learn not to harass their employees, it is not acceptable. Everyone has right to call out their boss for bad behaviour without losing their job.

-Because young girls are worrying more about how much eating instead of enjoying their youth:

Our society is giving young girls unrealistic beauty standers. Young girls are way too young to be worrying about how much they eat. They shouldn’t even care about it, as long as you enjoy what you are eating who really cares. We shouldn’t change ourselves, because our society thinks the only way you are beautiful is if you are skinny. We are all beautiful in our own unique ways and we don’t need to change, our society needs to change! Feminism is helping beautiful young girls accept themselves and love for who they are.

Being a feminist is something

I am really proud of. Feminism is opening eyes to so many, and helping them in so many ways. They helping so many feel better about themselves, it is freeing them over ridiculous pressure our society puts us on. It is wonderful community to be part of and I entourage everyone to join and be feminist. You can simply join by just being your true self.

Reminder: Always stay true to yourself

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Solution to inequality

Solution to inequality

In last week’s article I talked about why women get less salary and today I will be talking about how we can change this, how companies, but also you can change this. This issue has been around forever so changing it, won’t happen over night or just by one person. It really needs for everyone to say stop we need a change. So here is solution to inequality

SOLUTION: DESIGN SENIOR ROLES TO WORK FOR ALL:

Companies have all excuses how for Senior position you need this and that, just so women don’t get senior position. We live in modern world now, where flexibility is possible for anyone. From having ability to work from home to many amazing tools that we have today. We can always come up with excuses why we can’t do something, how about we start designing senior positions that suits for both women and men.

I am sure anyone can do this, it is honestly way easier to design position that suits both men and women. I also feel in this case men do have to step up and call out CEO’s on this bullshit. Men need to be part of change, by refusing to take position that are only suited for men. And also it is quite easy for companies to create position for just men, when men allow women to work less, while they still work full time. When you have family don’t give the woman all the responsibility, while you are able to work and build you career it is not far. When you responsibility is divided in half, it will be harder for companies to create position that are only suited for men.

SOLUTION: CREATE QUALITY FLEXIBLE JOBS THAT ALLOW WOMEN AND MEN TO BALANCE AMBITION WITH CARING RESPONSIBILITIES

Even though in our society it is the man who is allowed to work full time and build up his career, but at the same time our society makes it so hard for men to work part time. This bias that men have to work full time, that you won’t be able to build up your career with part time job needs to be cut off.

Of course men will work full time to build their careers, but if companies made part time jobs as attractive as full time jobs it would be different story. Obviously the man ends up with full time job, because it is known men can faster build up their careers and second no matter what he will be earning more money, so if woman works they will be losing money. Companies need to make part time as attractive as part time. We also need to make women working full time instead of men attractive as well by paying women the same as men. Companies need to be part of solution to inequality.

SOLUTION: OPEN UP ALL SECTORS TO PART-TIME AND FLEXIBLE WORKING:

One of the reasons they say women are paid less is because they go for jobs in sectors with lower income. The only reason women do that is because next to their job, they also have full time job at home taking care of children so these jobs allow them to have more flexibility.

Companies need to make flexible working in every sector and while they are at that also make equal pay for every sector. We have advanced in so many ways so flexibility shouldn’t be a big problem. Opening flexibility in typical men’s  occupations would entourage more women to work in them and also allow more men to work part time, which will result in equal career progress for both men and women.

SOLUTION: STOP PAYING WOMEN LESS THAN MEN FOR THE SAME ROLE:

This one is of course my favourite and most important one. The fact that women are still not getting paid the same amount for the same job as men is ridiculous. There needs to be strict law for all the companies that force them to pay women the same. Instead of being quite, how about we shame any company that pays woman less. Paying less should become culture embarrassment not something to be proud of.

Our society has always seen women as less and it is such a false belief, but unless we shame people for thinking this way nothing will chance. All these excuses like women earn less because they are not skilled or work less are so false. We keep getting reports from the same positions and same hours, and it is so not true that women can do less women can do as much as men can. Women won’t stand by this anymore. All of us  won’t support companies that pay women less so they are forced to change.

So now that we gone over what companies can do, there are many more things they can do, but we go over them some other time. But the thing is yes they can do it, but will they do it? We don’t have a lot of control over companies are their actions, but we have full control over our actions. We need to focus on how we can be part of solution to inequality since that can also influence the change.

-Sharing salary information:

A lot of people think sharing you salary information is forbidden , but it is actually not. Of course many companies don’t want you do to so, but you have full right to do so. It is your own salary and you own information, therefore you have full right to share this information. No matter in what sector you work, if you are man or woman sharing this information online can really help bring awareness you this issues and push to change. Speaking up and sharing information will help with solution to inequality.

-Knowing the law:

If you noticed that you male co worker earns more than you in the same position, you have full right to complain. There is Law that has been made in 1963 that give you right to get paid as much as male. But sadly so many companies haven’t been monitored so they can easily get away with it. But if this is happening you need to complain about it. Of course no one should fight for their right. But it is what it is, you need to call them out on that.

-Bring awareness to this issues:

Talk to women in your circles, make them aware of this issues. Educate them and teach them what they can do to help fight this issues. You should also talk to men about it, bring awareness to them too. Because some men don’t even realise how big of issue this is. I feel talking about it can really help fight this issue.

-Donate to organisation that are fighting inequality:

There are so many wonderful organisation that are fighting inequality, donating either your time or money can really help them.

Here is organisation I really like: Equalsalary

-Share on social media:

Social media has become big part of our lives so sharing this issue on social media can help too. Share your thoughts and educate people anything will help.

-Cultivate negotiation skills

As women they don’t value us as much as they do men, so we really need to step up the negotiation skills. Having amazing negotiation skills they will have no reason to pay you less. When they see that you value yourself they will value you as well.

What do you think? What else can we do to help out to fight inequality? I think it won’t be easy, but for sure will be worth it! When this happens it will be beautiful change that everyone needed, so let’s believe in that.

I hope you enjoyed this mini series and you learned something from it. Comment down below letting me know what you learned.

Reminder: We all need to fight this issue even if you are a male!

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