It’s 4 solutions to 4 questions. Right here we go…
1. Coworker stop and informed everybody I’m having an affair — I’m not
I’ve a messy scenario. Lengthy story brief, I’ve been falsely accused of getting an affair at work. An worker, “Flora,” stop and has been telling individuals the reason being that she’s simply so disgusted with this affair and the way it has been dealt with. It’s a small firm with a lot of gossip. Flora contacted the alleged affair associate’s soon-to-be ex spouse and informed her a bunch of false info and gave her my contact data, in addition to data about my husband. The ex-wife then contacted my husband and informed him I used to be having an affair. Once more, I used to be not having an affair.
I’m not totally certain why Flora believes this. I don’t report back to the alleged affair associate and by no means have, however I’ve to work with him since our positions align. There have been two cases the place our journey aligned to a special facility, but it surely wasn’t deliberate that method, and some cases the place we went to lunch collectively and he opened a door for me (???). Our workplace will not be conducive to having non-public conferences, so we seize lunch to speak about tasks.
HR has not mentioned something to me, aside from asking how I used to be doing. Flora is now leaving evaluations on websites referencing the affair (not naming me, thankfully). I wish to hold my non-public life non-public and my preliminary hope was to only let this all blow over, however now I’m unsure. Is that this one thing I ought to carry up with HR? How a lot data do I share? I’m tremendous embarrassed by the entire scenario and actually don’t need to name consideration to it, however the entire scenario is simply up to now outdoors something I’ve needed to cope with that I don’t know who else to show to for recommendation.
Please do discuss with HR, since you’re being harassed and defamed on account of your work there! Lay it out very clearly: A former worker is slandering you, posting false issues about you in evaluations of the corporate, and interfering together with your marriage. There may not be a lot your organization can do since Flora not works there, however she’s made it a piece challenge for you. You received’t be calling consideration to it; Flora is the one doing that. It’s going to be very clear you’re not the one inflicting drama; Flora is.
You may also think about a brief session with a lawyer. I don’t know from right here whether or not she’s crossed any authorized strains, however a lawyer can in all probability shut lots of this down with a stop and desist letter. It’s price discovering out.
2. Coworker’s workplace is gun-themed
I moved to the U.S. a 12 months in the past and it has been a wild journey. Though I labored at this firm in an EU workplace beforehand, the tradition within the U.S. is actually completely different. The most recent tradition shock for me is that somebody I work with often (a number of conferences a month) works from his dwelling workplace and that dwelling workplace is “gun themed.” When he’s on video, it exhibits half a dozen completely different ammunition-related wall hangings — assume completely different calibers of ammunition, a shotgun shell formed thermometer, and an ammunition constructing station with a visual reloading device and pile of ammunition.
Is that this an inexpensive factor in a U.S. office? Am I being unreasonable by feeling a bit uncomfortable with a lot gun paraphernalia?
You’re not being unreasonable; a great deal of individuals, together with within the U.S., would discover that distracting and alarming, and lots of workplaces would inform him to make use of a special background. I certain would, if I had been his supervisor.
That mentioned, there are components of the nation the place this may not elevate eyebrows.
3. I spend an excessive amount of time chasing down signatures for birthday playing cards
We’re a small workplace (12-14 totally staffed, a mixture of full-timers and part-timers, however because the pandemic, usually there are 10 of us). Now we have all the time celebrated birthdays with playing cards and cake. I’m the enterprise supervisor, and one way or the other over the previous few years, it has change into my job to maintain monitor of the cardboard and ensure everybody has gotten the prospect to signal it.
It’s not a lot that I thoughts doing this, it’s simply that we’ve been brief staffed for nearly 4 years and I’ve a lot on my plate. For the final two birthday playing cards, I missed having somebody signal (a special particular person on every, as a result of neither of them are full-time).
I don’t need anybody to really feel lower than, forgotten, or overlooked (no Leap 12 months infants right here!), however I’m battling this “low-value” process when I’ve actually vital issues on my plate, however I don’t know who else might take it over. That appears like a bizarre process to assign an worker, particularly once we don’t have a receptionist. Is my solely choice to hold battling this process (on common) one week per thirty days?
Three choices:
A. Let everybody know that chasing individuals all the way down to signal playing cards has change into too time-consuming and also you’ll not be doing that. As a substitute, you’ll ship out one message letting individuals know the cardboard is in your workplace and to cease by and signal it. If somebody misses it, so be it.
B. Transfer to on-line playing cards. Nevertheless, you continue to might need the identical challenge with individuals needing to be reminded to signal, so in case you do that, it is best to nonetheless simply let individuals know as soon as and never spend time chasing down anybody who hasn’t signed.
C. Cease the playing cards altogether. Let everybody know that it’s change into too time-consuming and you might be heralding in a brand new, card-less period. Emphasize that there’ll nonetheless be cake.
Personally, I vote for C since you’re overwhelmed and the opposite two choices nonetheless contain you pondering an excessive amount of about playing cards.
4. Invited to be a visitor speaker after which blown off
A number of months in the past, I used to be contacted by a professor who teaches within the grad faculty division I attended. I’ve excellent relationships with the division and I’m usually invited to talk at alum occasions, however this professor is new so we had by no means met. (Let’s name him Dr. Smith.)
Dr. Smith requested me to be a visitor speaker at an alumni dialogue he was internet hosting for his class. He informed me there can be two or three different alum invited and requested me to organize a 20-minute dialogue about my experiences at school and my present work.
Just a few days in the past, I checked in with him over e-mail and he despatched me a Zoom hyperlink to attend (his class was digital). Nevertheless, I used to be unable to get into the assembly as a result of it was set as much as solely permit individuals with a certified faculty Zoom account (which I not had as a long-time alum).
I e-mail Dr. Smith asking him to alter the assembly permissions. When he lastly responds half-hour into the category, he tells me there’s nothing he can do. He says he believes it’s a log-in challenge on my finish and tells me, “Perhaps subsequent time, thanks anyway.”
I really feel pissed off that I hung out to organize a speech and likewise stepped away from work to attend, but my absence didn’t appear to be a giant deal. There was no try to deal with the tech challenge and no acknowledgement for the inconvenience to me. Am I overthinking this? How ought to I e-mail again?
He was impolite! Technical points occur, but when he wasn’t in a position to determine it out in the course of the category, he ought to have apologized profusely, acknowledged your time funding, and requested if there was a handy time to reschedule, if you had been nonetheless keen to. As a substitute, he was cavalier about your time, as in case you weren’t doing him a favor that you simply put time and power into at his request.
I don’t assume you must spell that out for him, however I additionally wouldn’t comply with do him any future favors, notably in the event that they contain you committing a block of your time. (Nevertheless, in case you actually need to say one thing, you would reply with, “I put lots of time in making ready what you had requested. Can I recommend you take a look at the tech forward of time sooner or later in order that doesn’t occur to a different visitor speaker?”)
