It’s 5 solutions to 5 questions. Right here we go…
1. My firm gained’t do something about our horrible coworker
I’ve a really problematic coworker, Alex, however everybody, together with HR, appear to be unable to fireplace them. And once I say problematic, I imply it. Earlier this yr Alex outed me at work as homosexual (that’s an entire different letter), lied about one other coworker sexually harassing me and minors (which I promise by no means occurred), tried to get our managers fired, has been actively scuttling interviews with doable new hires after we are understaffed, will get into heated debates in public discussing confidential data (we’re customer-facing more often than not) whereas withholding that very same information from those who want it, and many different smaller issues. And that’s what I’m conscious of.
Lately Alex has begun an try and try to oust our division head as a result of they declare the division head “doesn’t take heed to them.” In addition to the plain causes above that our division head has for taking every little thing Alex says with a grain of salt, our division head has talked to HR about it and they’re making an attempt to work with Alex to make them really feel heard.
I absolutely settle for Alex is likely to be on a PIP and I wouldn’t know, however I doubt it. They proceed to terrorize many of the employees with no recognized penalties. I’ve been advised our office not often, if ever, fires folks (which is one more letter), however I really feel like we’re at that “not often” level. However each time I speak to my boss, HR, or division head, they’re all very reluctant to behave. And it’s not that they don’t know the problem or share my emotions. Certainly one of them practically cried to me attributable to how annoyed they have been.
I simply need Alex to cease terrorizing all of us. I work intently with Alex and know they’ve struggles and points and I’m sympathetic, however I really feel like they’re utilizing it as an excuse to make everybody else’s life additionally depressing. Ideally Alex might reform, however they’ve burned a lot I feel they must turn into somebody totally completely different for everybody to maintain successfully working with them. It is likely to be finest for everybody in the event that they have been let go.
I do know it’s wishful considering, however I used to be questioning in the event you had any concepts I might attempt to get one thing to alter or be much less caught on this spot of frustration? Like can I deliver up that Alex outed me once more? (It was by no means dealt with as a result of it was tied up with the accusations of the opposite coworker however that each one acquired dropped when that individual left as that they had one other job all set and was out the door earlier than Alex began that circus). Ought to I as a subordinate deliver up my concern about Alex’s assault on our division head? Or possibly one thing else you may see from what I wrote that I can’t.
What I see is that the issue isn’t Alex. Or relatively, they aren’t the largest drawback. The largest drawback is that your administration is conscious of all the issues with Alex and is selecting to not act. Whether or not that’s from wimpiness or incompetence, I can’t say (though they’re actually the identical factor right here). However they’re not doing their jobs they usually’re letting the remainder of you proceed to undergo beneath Alex’s reign of terror. Alex has carried out so many fireable issues at this level that not performing is a deliberate selection your administration is making. They’re the issue.
I’m deeply skeptical that there’s any magical argument you may make that may get them to behave once they’ve declined to up to now. If the remainder of you make such a stink that it turns into extra painful to maintain ignoring you than it’s to take care of Alex, possibly which may transfer issues alongside. However I’d relatively you go someplace that capabilities with a naked minimal stage of managerial competence as a substitute.
2. Consuming tiny lunches in a bunch
I normally eat a really small breakfast and lunch, with a big dinner. That is simply how my physique has all the time labored. Typically this may appear like one buttered slice of bread for breakfast, a protein bar for lunch, then one thing like a big lasagne for dinner.
My workplace usually has impromptu “staff lunches” the place all of us form of gravitate collectively at 1 pm. I get feedback about my meagre parts and I truthfully really feel a bit misplaced consuming a single bar whereas my teammate is having lovely home made hen risotto.
This extends to official company-paid work lunches, the place I order $5 appetizers whereas others are ordering $50 steaks, which actually feels fairly awkward. I’m usually inspired to order the dearer or bigger objects on the menu, even after explaining my consuming preferences, and obtain vital aspect eye as I slowly nibble on my salad.
Is it dangerous optics to eat low-cost or small lunches in a bunch? Or are others being bizarre about my meals habits? I’m apprehensive I is likely to be coming throughout as a cheapskate or showing to be hiding an consuming dysfunction.
In principle, what you eat at a bunch lunch is nobody else’s enterprise, and nobody ought to have emotions about it in any method. In actuality, in some contexts it’s one thing folks will discover and which could really feel misplaced. That doesn’t imply you need to change what you’re doing, although.
The impromptu staff lunches the place you’re all gathering with your personal meals are high-quality. Deliver your protein bar, clarify that’s what you want for lunch, and provides it no additional thought. However when it’s a extra official, company-paid lunch the place different individuals are ordering $50 steaks and also you’re having a small aspect salad … it’s nonetheless nobody’s enterprise, nevertheless it’s more likely to come up. Largely that’s as a result of folks will fear you’re consuming a aspect salad as a result of there’s nothing else appropriate for you they usually’ll need to make sure you’re getting taken care of. It may additionally look just a little … effectively, not such as you’re rejecting the corporate’s hospitality as a result of it’s not that, however one thing in that neighborhood? That’s wrong-headed, however so many social customs and rituals are linked to meals that it’s one thing to concentrate on.
That doesn’t imply that you must eat meals you don’t need. You don’t! And other people will get used to it over time. However realistically, sure, it could stand out as noticeably completely different from the norm. You could or might not care about that; you’re not required to. However in the event you do, one choice is to order a fairly palatable entree and take most of it residence with you to eat later (or simply use the time-honored observe of pushing it round in your plate whereas not consuming a lot of it).
3. Boss needs us to share our availability however doesn’t share his personal
A yr or so in the past, my supervisor stated our staff might earn a living from home in the future per week. He additionally needed us to speak that day on our staff’s shared calendar. My supervisor, nonetheless, doesn’t observe these identical guidelines. He works from residence at any time when he needs to, with out constantly speaking this to my coworker and me on the shared calendar. My coworker and I additionally publish physician’s appointments on the calendar however my supervisor doesn’t.
Our supervisor is typically wanted to assist with points in-person and we by no means know if he will likely be accessible or not. That is particularly irritating if we’re short-staffed. Consequently, my coworker and I’ve each skilled rising resentment and frustration. Do you suppose we must always deliver this problem as much as our supervisor in-person and the way ought to we focus on this?
Sure, so long as you may tie it to clear work impacts, relatively than simply the double customary. (The double customary is a legit factor to resent. It’s simply not more likely to go over effectively along with your boss.)
You could possibly body it as, “Would it not be doable so that you can be aware on the shared calendar once you’ll be out for appointments or working from residence? We’re discovering that we don’t all the time know in the event you’re accessible after we want you — for instance, yesterday with X and final week with Y.”
4. I’m apprehensive my outdated abuser will harass me at work
I work in a authorities workplace for an appointed official. Quite a lot of my work offers with exterior companions, a lot of whom have to succeed in out to us first, so my contact data has to stay publicly accessible. I like my job greater than something I’ve carried out beforehand. It’s fulfilling, significant, and attention-grabbing.
I’m additionally a survivor of kid abuse. I minimize off my abuser from all contact for a few years, did a variety of remedy, and am in a significantly better place now. In these years, my abuser tried to contact me by means of a number of routes, together with inappropriate ones, however I used to be in a position to both block these routes (significantly once I was self-employed) or maintain my contact data from being publicly accessible.
Lately, a meddling member of the family gave my abuser my cellphone quantity. Predictably, this resulted in him making an attempt to succeed in me each few days or so for months. I lastly referred to as him again within the hopes that that will cease the calls however they’re nonetheless coming, solely with barely much less frequency. I’m involved that if I don’t name him once more, my abuser will now discover my publicly accessible contact data and use it inappropriately.
How do you counsel I put together my workplace for this chance whereas nonetheless sustaining the supply I have to have? I don’t need to must share my painful previous with anybody who may display screen calls (the duty rotates relying on who’s in conferences or not) or with an HR division that’s at a distinct location and who I don’t completely belief primarily based on expertise. No less than I’ve no concern that my abuser will present up at my workplace since he lives lots of of miles away and is at present disabled, however getting calls, emails, and web site kinds from him repeatedly could be exhausting on me and my understaffed workplace.
You possibly can share that somebody is harassing you with out sharing particulars past that. You possibly can merely say {that a} “troublesome member of the family”/“unhinged member of the family”/“previous stalker” (no matter feels most snug to you; all of them sound correct) has not too long ago been making unwelcome and aggressive contact, you’re involved he may use your work contact information sooner or later, and if that occurs you’d like them to ___. Fill within the clean with no matter retains you most secure and most snug. That is likely to be all the time saying you’re unavailable, sending all his calls to a selected voice mailbox (that you simply don’t have to verify), deleting his messages with out forwarding them on to you, or no matter you determine on.
I’m sorry you’re having to take care of this.
5. Work gained’t pay for our journey to a weekend location
I work at a small nonprofit and everybody on employees is being requested to work a few weekends every in the course of the subsequent few months at an off-site location that may solely be accessed by ferry. They won’t be protecting the price of journey, which makes it particularly troublesome for a few of us who should drive or take public transportation over extraordinarily lengthy distances to succeed in even the ferry departure level.
In return for working these offsite weekend days, we can have the prospect to take a break day on one in all our work-from-home days (we’re a hybrid workplace), however provided that our workloads allow (invariably, they won’t).
I feel it’s authorized in my state for a corporation as small as ours to not cowl journey prices. Nevertheless it feels extremely unfair to require us to work these weekends at a location so inaccessible. Is there something the employees can do to make this a greater scenario?
You possibly can all push again as a bunch! A bunch of you complaining is simpler than only one individual’s voice. As a bunch, inform your administration that the group must cowl the prices of doing the offsite work, relatively than pushing these prices onto its workers. Body it similar to that — that these are their bills, not yours. If they do not want, say none of you’ll be able to afford the price of journey so that you’ll want an alternative choice for attending to the placement. Once more, there’s energy in numbers. One individual saying that will be sticking their neck out; a bunch of you saying it has extra safety.
When you’re at it, push for precise comp time, not “you may take an additional day provided that your workload permits it.” (Though if any of you might be non-exempt, they’re legally required to pay you additional time — which means time and a half — for these extra hours if it takes you over 40 hours that week.)
And I’m simply gonna go away this right here.
