I consider the issue at present might be summed up merely: folks mistake sympathy for compassion.
Sympathy is feeling dangerous for somebody and wishing they didn’t really feel so dangerous.
Sympathy is noble on the floor (“folks ought to endure much less!”) however can usually find yourself being subtly self-serving (“folks ought to endure much less as a result of I don’t wish to really feel dangerous for them anymore.”)
Compassion is just like sympathy however completely different in an necessary approach.
Like sympathy, compassion begins with feeling dangerous for somebody. However as an alternative of merely wanting the particular person’s struggling to go away, compassion entails somebody who’s keen to endure alongside that particular person in order that they could overcome their challenges.
Sympathy is sending flowers and a card to a pal when a mother or father dies. Compassion is driving to their home and holding them as they cry.
Sympathy is letting a screaming youngster have that toy they need so that they’ll cease screaming. Compassion is letting them cry as a result of they are going to be higher off as soon as they perceive that they will’t all the time get what they need.
Sympathy is altering your profile image on social media for regardless of the new trigger du jour is. Compassion is definitely giving time or cash to victims, listening to their tales, serving to them rebuild their lives.
Sympathy is an effective factor. We want it on the earth. But it surely’s additionally straightforward. It’s short-term and short-sighted. It’s an, “Aw, I really feel dangerous for him.” Sympathy is targeted on the sensation moderately than the particular person. “I hope they really feel higher.”
Compassion is in regards to the particular person. “I don’t simply hope they really feel higher, I hope they change into higher.” Due to this fact, compassion is extra concerned. It takes extra effort—each psychological and emotional.
Sympathy is attempting to take away as a lot pressure and battle as potential. Compassion is attempting to assist an individual transfer by a manageable quantity of battle to allow them to develop into a greater particular person.
I consider that as a tradition we’re over-optimized for sympathy and under-optimized for compassion. That is most likely largely social media’s fault, however not totally.
Sympathy is simple to speak on-line. It’s additionally straightforward to see sympathy communicated between others. Compassion is like sarcasm, it’s not communicated effectively on-line. It’s additionally tougher to acknowledge between others.
We’re most likely additionally over-optimized for sympathy as a result of it’s simpler to measure and examine. It’s comparatively straightforward to measure how good/dangerous an individual feels. It’s extremely tough to measure whether or not somebody has grown or not.
