A reader writes:
Subsequent month, I’ll be attending knowledgeable convention with a number of of my coworkers. This might be my first work journey.
I’ve a friend-with-benefits who lives within the metropolis that the convention is being hosted in. Wouldn’t it be inappropriate for me to ask her to stick with me at my resort? Whether it is, can I keep at her place as an alternative of on the resort? My coworkers know I’ve a detailed good friend there (although clearly they don’t know the complete nature of our relationship), so me spending time together with her throughout downtime received’t come as a shock, however what are the ethics/optics/norms of sleepovers particularly?
Don’t parade her drunkenly by the foyer whereas any colleagues who suppose you’re married are more likely to be milling round, however in any other case you might be high quality.
You’re an grownup, and it’s high quality to fulfill up with a good friend within the metropolis you’re visiting. If that good friend hangs out in your room with you, it’s nobody’s enterprise what you’re doing in there. (In case anybody is questioning why that is totally different from the man earlier this month who introduced intercourse staff again to his room, it’s as a result of the main points of your scenario are totally different. Most notably, you’re presumably going to be moderately discreet about your meant actions, and also you’re not making your coworkers suppose you’re drunkenly dishonest in your spouse.)
For those who occur to run right into a colleague within the resort, introduce her the best way you’ll if she have been a platonic good friend — “That is my good friend Jane — she lives on the town, so we’re going to have a glass of wine and catch up.”
Two caveats: First, ensure your night is actually free earlier than you finalize any plans. Typically on enterprise journeys there’s an expectation you’ll do work socializing within the evenings. Particularly at conferences, that may be the place a few of the most helpful networking occurs. (Clearly if you happen to don’t plan to fulfill up till midnight or comparable, that is much less of a problem.)
Second, it is advisable to be moderately properly rested the following day — and in addition have to keep away from giving anybody else a motive to suppose you’re not (like a coworker staying within the room subsequent to you who hears audible proof that you simply’re up till 5 a.m.). You don’t wish to give anybody the sense that you simply’re prioritizing one thing social over the explanation you have been despatched on the journey.
