A reader writes:
I’ve simply given discover to depart a job that I really like as a result of my supervisor has change into insupportable. I’ll spare you the small print, however for context, this supervisor (let’s name them B) has a damaging repute within the firm and the 2 earlier departures from my staff have cited abuse from B as their cause for leaving. I’m the third (a minimum of) to stop due to B.
Simply earlier than I gave discover, a wonderful new job alternative fell into my lap at a special firm with a begin date at about the identical time I used to be planning to depart.
I attempted to supply 4 weeks’ discover and gave up some PTO to ease the transition. B requested me to talk with the boss at my new job (let’s name her C) to ask for extra flexibility with the beginning date. I agreed I might name C, however inside an hour of leaving that assembly with B, B known as C themselves to attempt to negotiate a later begin date for me. (The sphere is small, so they aren’t strangers to one another, however so far as I’m conscious shouldn’t have any relationship past passing skilled acquaintances.)
C known as me stunned and a bit shaken to have heard unexpectedly from B, and the beginning date for the brand new place was pushed again by a month due to the strain she felt. I caught to my unique discover of 4 weeks anyway, as a result of I’m assured I can wrap up my work in that point, and albeit, as a result of I’m uninterested in being bullied and was not thinking about being cornered into staying longer ready than I would like.
HR has been conscious of the scenario with B from the start and has been supportive of me, however higher administration is hesitant to take any motion regardless of the continuing departures. My new function will contain contact with vital folks in my present group (although not with B), so I want to take care of a constructive relationship with the corporate whereas I exit.
So, three questions:
• Is it utterly bananapants for my supervisor to have known as my new boss like that, or am I off-base in pondering that is wildly unprofessional? I may use some validation if I’m proper to be upset, or higher context if I’m not.
• How do I strategy my exit interview? It now appears to be like like I’m leaving as a result of this new alternative got here up, however the reality is that I used to be out the door anyway, 100% due to my supervisor. Ought to I be sincere about my causes to depart, or does offering sincere suggestions run the chance of damaging my relationship with the corporate, given they aren’t inclined to do something about the reason for the turnover on my staff?
• How do I strategy what occurred with my new boss after I lastly do begin the brand new function?
Sure, it’s full-on bananapants on your boss to have known as one other firm and tried to push again your begin date. Your preparations with a separate job are none of her enterprise, and that was a wild overstep.
When you’d been transferring internally, this sort of dialog generally does occur. However completely not with a separate firm.
Your outdated supervisor and your new supervisor aren’t two dad and mom arranging a play date for his or her children. You’re an grownup who makes your personal choices about once you finish your work for an employer. (And good for you for doing precisely that and sticking to your unique exit date no matter what your outdated boss thought she had labored out.)
Ideally your new boss would have shut it down when she acquired the decision — saying one thing like, “That’s actually one thing I can solely negotiate with Jane.” However many individuals discover it exhausting to close down bizarre habits within the second, and he or she’s not the one at fault right here; your outdated boss is. Don’t fear about needing to finesse it along with her once you begin; it may not even come up, but when it does, you possibly can simply say, “I’m sorry about that, I had no concept she’d name you and I by no means would have okayed it had I’d recognized.”
Additionally, do you continue to need your unique begin date? If that’s the case, name up Jane now and say, “I had no concept B was going to name you and I’m protecting my final day right here as (date) for a bunch of causes. I’d nonetheless love to start out with you on (unique begin date) if that also works in your finish.”
As on your exit interview, in case your sense is that your enter received’t matter, stick to ordinary solutions. If your organization desires actual enter from folks, they need to ask for it earlier than persons are leaving — and they need to make it secure for folks to supply and may present they take it severely after they get it. Sometimes actual change does consequence from an exit interview, however it doesn’t sound such as you’ve seen indicators of that being doubtless right here. That stated, you might definitely say one thing like, “I believe you’re conscious of why persons are leaving the staff, and I’d somewhat not rehash these points intimately.” You may additionally point out your boss’s overstep with calling your new employer and say that it’s “indicative of the sorts of points that drove me to consider leaving within the first place.” When you do actually need to say extra, although, do it as unemotionally as doable; the much less emotional you sound, the extra credible you’re prone to appear. However I’m skeptical there could be a lot worth in it, provided that they already know.
